When I Fell Apart, She Held the Family Together

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here are moments that divide a life into before and after. My stroke was one of them.

Before, I was a husband, a father, a provider.
After, I was learning how to lift a hand, how to speak without fear, how to believe that tomorrow still wanted me.

In that space where everything broke—my strength, my confidence, my sense of self—my wife did not.

We have been together for 26 years. That number sounds simple, almost ordinary. But behind it is a love that learned how to bend without breaking, how to stay when staying was the hardest thing to do.

When the stroke came, life spoke a cruel language. Rooms felt smaller. Time felt heavier. I was not the man I used to be—and I was terrified that I never would be again.

But she stayed.

Not just beside me—for me.

From teacher, she became caregiver. She bathed me when my body refused to cooperate. She helped me stand when my legs forgot how. She walked with me into therapy rooms where pain echoed louder than hope. She held my hand through every small, stubborn step forward.

Without warning, she became the head of our family.
She carried the weight I dropped.
She did not complain.
She did not run.
She rose.

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And then there were our children—angels disguised as ordinary kids who suddenly became extraordinary.

Betty, who once dreamed only of being a teacher, began dreaming of healing too. She watched my medicine like a guardian clock. “O Daddy, bawal ka nang magpuyat.” Even when I interrupted her reviews, even when her time was stolen by my needs—she chose love.

Totoy, my brave boy, turned from a communication student into my personal therapist. “Tiis lang Daddy, masakit ‘to.” He warned me the massages would hurt. They did. But every ache was a promise: You are not alone.

At first, I could not bear the pain.
But love has a way of teaching us endurance.
Slowly, I learned to breathe through it.
Slowly, I learned to live again.

They did not just take care of me. They rebuilt me.

When I fell apart, my wife held the family together—and in doing so, she held me too.

She did not change roles;
she became everything.

Now, as we mark 26 years of marriage, I understand something deeper than romance:

Love is not found in perfect moments.
It is forged in broken ones.

To my wife—my strength, my home, my miracle—thank you for carrying me when I could not carry myself. Thank you for choosing me, again and again, even when I was hard to love.

I promise you this:
I will keep rising.
I will keep fighting.
I will grow stronger—
not just for me, but for you.

Because our story is not over.
It is only learning how to stand.

When My Brain Betrayed Me, and Love Almost Let Go

There are memories that don’t knock.

They barge in.
They sit heavy on the chest and refuse to leave.

A year ago, I survived a stroke. People clap for survival, but no one warns you about the shadows that follow it home. How the world suddenly turns duller, darker—like someone dimmed the lights inside your head and forgot where the switch was.

The cruelest moment came during one of my episodes. Stroke rage, they call it—those uncontrollable tantrums many survivors quietly endure in the early days. Anger without logic. Noise without sound. A storm without warning.

I remember arguing with my wife. About what? I can’t even recall. What I do remember is hearing something at the back of my head—voices that weren’t there, echoes that felt real. My emotions hijacked me. My body followed. I lifted a chair.

Let me be clear: I knew I would never hurt her.
But knowing doesn’t matter when fear is already in the room.

Everything collapsed in seconds.

I was reported to the barangay hall in San Nicolas, Manila—dragged there not as a husband, not as a father, but like a criminal wearing my own face. The next day, my wife asked for legal separation. My children—my own blood—turned against me, their words sharper than any blade. They called my sisters in the province. They wanted me gone. Out of their lives. Out of their safety. Out of their story.

I felt numb. Then hollow. Then unbearably small.

Why couldn’t I control myself?
Why did my brain betray me like this?

I begged for forgiveness. It wasn’t given. They wanted distance, silence, disappearance. So I cried alone. Every day. Quietly. The kind of crying where you cover your mouth because even grief feels like something you’re no longer allowed to express.

The barangay meeting was scheduled. I waited like someone waiting for a verdict. It never happened. Maybe they didn’t want to interfere. Maybe they believed time would do what people couldn’t. But the damage had already taken root.

What hurt even more was the dream that quietly died alongside our peace.

Before the argument, my wife had applied for the 4PH Pabahay Program. She was accepted. DECA Homes in Tondo. A house in Manila. A future with walls we could finally call ours. We were only waiting for the payment notice.

She waived it.

Just like that.

A home vanished—not because of poverty, not because of fate—but because my stroke rewired me into someone even I was afraid of.

Months passed. Time did what hearts eventually do—it softened them. My wife found the courage to accept me back. I was allowed to return, but some things don’t come home with you. Trust limps. Dreams don’t respawn. And guilt? Guilt settles in like permanent furniture.

The house is gone.
The scars remain.
And the question still echoes: What if I could turn back the days?

But time doesn’t reverse. It only asks one thing: What will you do now?

So now, I rebuild.

I choose therapy. I choose discipline. I choose to face the monster my stroke briefly turned me into—and refuse to let it win again. I am not healed yet. I am not perfect. But I am trying. Every single day.

This is not a story about violence.
This is a story about illness, shame, forgiveness, and the quiet heroism of choosing to stay—when leaving would be easier.

If you’ve ever lost control and hated yourself for it,
If you’ve ever survived something and paid for it anyway,
If you’ve ever watched love almost slip through your hands—

Take my pain.
Feel it.
And know this: survival is not the end of the story.
Sometimes, it’s where the hardest chapters begin.

Please Take Care of Your Health

 To my fellow DepEd colleagues — please, take care of your health.

Many of you know my story. Almost a year ago, I was struck down by a stroke. It happened right after a MATATAG training in QC. I went home with a slurred tongue and a strange heaviness in my chest. I tried to open my laptop to tell my supervisors I couldn’t attend the next training in Baguio because something felt wrong… but my left fingers would no longer obey. I couldn’t type. I couldn’t control my own hand.

My wife rushed me to Gat Andres Bonifacio Hospital in Tondo. After CT scans and emergency procedures, I spent fourteen long days confined. I came out partially disabled. My left hand and leg felt like they belonged to a stranger. Every day, I cried quietly, asking myself: How did I end up here?

Diabetes, stress, poor eating habits, and sleepless nights finishing reports — all the things we shrug off as "part of the job" — had finally caught up with me. The once strong and fiery "Lito-san" felt like a broken shell.

I filed for leave with pay for eight months, using the service credits I had accumulated over 33 years in DepEd. At the time, I couldn’t even hold a pen, let alone teach. But through therapy, prayer, and sheer stubbornness, I started recovering. When my neurologist finally gave me the green light, I returned to work as a "one-hand machine." My superiors spared me from heavy tasks — maybe out of kindness, maybe out of respect for my decades of service. I was simply grateful to be back.

Then came the heartbreak.

I had prepared every document for my Employees’ Compensation (EC) claim, hoping for support for my partial disability. But GSIS denied it. They ruled that my condition was not work-related. As you can see in the attached letter, they state that "Diabetes Mellitus is a lifestyle disease," and therefore, my stroke is not compensable.

I appealed. I hoped for reconsideration. But the verdict remains: Denied.

I was stunned. I was devastated. The sadness settled is heavier than the stroke itself.

Lesson learned: Take care of your body. Guard your health like your life depends on it — because it truly does. Don’t let stress and overwork steal your future the way it almost stole mine.

Stay healthy, mga kasama. We give so much to the service — please, don’t forget to save something for yourself.