Sunday, April 3, 2022

Tawa Muna Tayo

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Guys, 

These jokes are not mine, I just got them from friends and some details were from the internet.  Let us enjoy the day.  Nakuha ko pa eto during the Covid19 pandemic, nahalungkat ko lang mula sa baul.  Mga malulupit na tanong. Credits go to the Owner(s).

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I am Lito san.  I graduated with a Bacherlor of Sayang in Agree Culture Engine Erring.  Suma Kumbati.  Personal Belief: "My brain is divided into two parts: the right and the left.  On the right nothing is left.  On the left nothing is right."

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Teacher:  Good morning class.  Today I will discuss a lesson about Ethics 101.  But before that allow me to introduce myself.  I am Ms. Elena Pruke.  With an "R" ha. Miss Pruuke for short.

Students: Nagtawanan ng mahina.

Teacher:  Ok class.  Eyes on the board heto ang pag-aaralan natin sa buong semester. (Si titser itinuro ang syllabus at ilang details na nakasulat sa board.

Students:  Thank you Ms. Pruke.  (Medyo nagtatawanan pa rin.)

To cut the story short natapos na ang semester.  Another sem ulit.

Teacher: Ok class, Good morning. Nakakatuwa naman at kayo ulit ang mga students ko sa Ethics 102.  For your information Nakapag-asawa na ako ng foreigner kaya hindi na ninyo ako mapagtatawanan (may pagmamalaki).  

Teacher ulit: Ako na nga pala si Mrs. Elena Prekprek.  With an "R" ha.

Student:  Tawanan ulit. 

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Tatay:  Anak kumusta ang exam mo? Anong score mo?

Anak: Zero po Tatay.

Tatay: Ok lang iyan anak.  Pasensiya ka na, iyong kabobohan mo nakuha mo sa akin.

Anak:  Ok lang iyan Tatay.  Buti na lang hindi ko nakuha ang kapangitan mo!

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Patulong sa sagot alam kong kayang kaya nyo ito: 😜😜😜

Leakage-  questions in the latest UPCAT. Kindly read thoroughly and figure out the correct answers.

[1] Kung ikaw na si Batman, sino ang bahala sa yo? Give three examples.

[2] Sino ang kumagat sa logo ng Apple, at bakit hindi niya ito inubos?

[3] Kung may UPCAT, bakit walang UPDOG? Elaborate.

[4] Sa produktong Crayola, ano ang pinagkaiba ng yellow green sa green yellow? Explain using logarithmic functions.

[5] Kung ang 1 kg ay may 1000 g, ilang grams naman ang meron sa Instagram? Show your solution.

[6] Kung sa Kasaysayan ng Pilipinas may “”Panahon ng Amerikano, Hapon, Kastila at Pre-Colonial”, kailan naman matatagpuan ang Panahon ng Kopong-kopong? Ilahad ang mga mahalagang pangyayari at magpakita ng archaeological evidences.

[7] If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, bakit sila nagpunta sa Earth?

[8] Should you give up or should you just keep chasing pavements? Expound.

[9] Ano ang meron kay Brand X at galit na galit ang ibang brand sa kanya? Explain.

[10] Masasabi mo bang fair ang Ms. Universe kung lahat ng contestants at judges ay galing sa Earth? Explain.

[11] Kung walang kamay ang mga ibon, then why do birds suddenly APIR? Ipaliwanag.

[12] Sabi ng iba, napuntahan niya na lahat ng sulok ng mundo. Paano mo masasabi na may “sulok” ang mundo kung Oblate Spheroid naman ang hugis nito? Explain and draw your answer on a 1/4 sheet of graphing paper.

[13] May nalunod na ba sa lalim ng gabi? Kung meron, enumerate.

[14] Bakit ang tawag sa building building kung tapos na siya? Justify.

[15] Is this the real life? Or is this just fantasy? EXPLAIN.

[16] Gaano kadalas ang minsan? Enumerate.

[17] How did Adele set fire to the rain? Write the chemical formula.

[18] Kapag ang ipis nahulog sa tubig na may sabon, dudumi ba ang tubig o lilinis ang ipis?

[19]Bakit pababa nang pababa ang ispaghetti? Explicate using Newton’s Law of Gravitation.

[20] Does the moonlight shine on Paris after the sun goes down?

[21] Kung ang nakatusok na baboy ay barbeque, ang nakatusok na saging ay bananacue, bakit ang kabayo, carousel?

[22] Ilan ang butas sa isang cracker ng skyflakes? Illustrate.

[23] Bakit pag rush hour tsaka mabagal ang daloy ng traffic? Explain your answer using sign language.

[24] Nasaan ang Edge of Glory? Write your final answer in nautical miles.

[25] Ang breakfast ba at dinner, pwedeng ilagay sa lunchbox? Prove your answer."


Friday, December 17, 2021

New Vacancies at DepEd Central Office

 Dear Friends,

Do you have what it takes to be a government servant?  Well, this is your chance to be one.  The Department of Education is looking for dedicated and talented people to join the biggest public organization in the country.  The deadline for applications is on December 29, 2021. Apply now!






























Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Mindoro Tamaraws Booked Quarterfinals Berth in PCAP

Dear Readers,

Last Saturday, July 17, 2021, the Mindoro Tamaraws made history by qualifying to the quarterfinals berth of the just concluded Play-in of the Professional Chess Association of the Philippines (PCAP) sponsored by SGM Wesley So via online tournament through Zoom by upsetting the ever-reliable Palawan Queens Gambit team with a score of 11-10 in the first match and subduing them again via a score of 17-4 in the second match.

With the consistent scorers of Team Mindoro, the heroics of the Arena International Master Joselito Asi from Calapan City proved to be a huge surprise as he drew with WIM Beverly Mendoza in the blitz game and then won in a seemingly losing position in the final stretch of the rapid game.  His victory proved to be crucial as the team needed 2.0 points to advance to the second match since the score was 9-10 in favor of Palawan team which has a twice-to-beat advantage by virtue of its higher ranking.  On the brink of defeat and in a losing position, AIM Asi mated WIM Mendoza during the panic time thereby helping the Tamaraws moved to the second match with the score 11-10 thereby leasing a new life.


The Tamaraws fielded the same team members while the Queens reshuffled their board placing during the second match.  Since the Mindorenos gathered some momentum during the first match, their team continued to rake points and led 4-3 in blitz and needed only 7 points to win.  

During the Rapid match, however, boards 1 and 2 fell victim to accurate moves of the Palawan Queens early in the games and the players had to wait for the results of boards 3, 4, 5, 6, & 7 for the complete scores.  

It was like waiting for eternity as the break-out room where the teams were assigned was so silent due to the importance of the games.  A few moments later, points were being written in the Zoom chatbox by the 5 Mindoro players signifying that they all won their remaining games.  What a sigh of relief, and the rest was history for the Mindoro Tamaraws!


Team Mindoro is thanking its sponsors and benefactors - Mayor Arnan C. Panaligan of Calapan City, Mayor Romulo "Muloy" Festin, LGU-San Jose Occidental Mindoro, Atty. Paul Elauria (PCAP President), Team Owner Mr. Justin Tan, and others. 

Team Composition:
Team Owner - Mr. Justin Tan
Team Manager/Board 1 - AGM Emmanuel Asi
Team Coach/Lady Player - ACM Michella Obaza Concio
Lady Player/Board 2/Import - WFM Szente-Varga Fruzsina (Hungary)
Lady Player - AFM Cylliz Kaessa M. Merilles
Seniors - Cesar Cunanan and Marcelo Abeleda
Homegrowns - USNM Rainier Labay, AGM Nezil Arj Merilles, Ronald Berdera, 
                         Zejih Angelo  Merilles, ACM Richard Allen Sicangco, and AIM Joselito Asi

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Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Eliminating Diabetes: Rotary Club of Manila

 Thank you so much Rotary Club of Manila and your transformational leaders for sharing your precious time and resources at the Claro M. Recto High School, Division of City Schools, Manila last December 4, 2020.  I was one of the recipients during this time of pandemic and I am so proud of your efforts.  May your tribe increase! #rotaryclubofmanila #rotaryinternational




 

Lifelong Leadership Congress


Good day friends from everywhere.

I had the opportunity to attend this important event sponsored by the Career Executive Service Board (CESB) this November 2020.  Mind you, it is just the first day of the workshop and I felt that I was overwhelmed by information already.  

First and foremost, I had no intention to attend this important activity for I thought it was only for the Career Service Executive Eligibles and not for the Career Executive Service Written Examination (CESWE) passers like myself.  But the very moment that I received an email from CESB inviting me to go to that event I immediately grabbed that opportunity.

Here I am after answering the Adversity Quotient (AQ) and the  GRIT Gauge Assessments (GRIT Gauge) I felt that I was a renewed man.  AQ discusses one's ability to respond constructively and GRIT Gauge reliably predicts performance, learning, agility, resilience, tenacity, and well-being.

I did poorly on the first exam but recovered fully-well on the second one.  Amazing!

I have been attending various activities of CESB before but this one is giving me great satisfaction. 

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Helping Cats in the Time of Turmoil


🏚️ Storm, Stray, and Sacrifice: A Mother Cat’s Typhoon Rescue

I’ll be honest — I’m not really a cat person. But yesterday? Yesterday changed something in me.

It was November 1, 2020, and Typhoon Rolly was throwing a fit over Binondo, Manila — strong winds howling through narrow alleys, rain pounding rooftops like a thousand drums. I was inside, focused, prepping for a big online Rapid Open Chess Tournament hosted by the National Chess Federation of the Philippines on Tornelo. All calculations, strategy, and focus.

Until life — raw and real — interrupted.

From the hallway outside our condo unit, through the screen door, I saw a mother cat scurrying back and forth, a tiny kitten gripped in her mouth. Panic was written all over her posture — not fear of humans, but that primal urgency of saving her babies from something bigger than all of us: nature in rage.

I didn’t pay her much mind at first. Chess awaited. But then she returned. And returned again. Each time, more frantic. Each time, wetter and more desperate.

That’s when it hit me. This wasn’t just a lost stray.

This was a mother on a mission.

I rushed to the door and opened it. She bolted in, kitten still clamped gently in her jaws. I wiped them dry with an old towel. But then, something unexpected happened.

She paused at the door. Looked back. Waited.

And then — zoom — ran out into the storm.

Two minutes later: she came back with another kitten.

Then another.

And another.

Until four kittens were safely inside.

This heroic feline made three dangerous trips in the middle of a typhoon, soaking wet, braving gusts that would knock a full-grown human off balance — all to save her babies.

And she trusted me — a non-cat person — with their lives. That moved me deeply.

The two older kittens we were feeding outside? Turns out, they were hers too. So I scooped them up and brought them in. A full family, reunited. Safe. Dry. Together.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds for this little clowder of survivors. But what I witnessed wasn’t just instinct.

It was love in motion, courage in action, and motherhood at its most fierce and fragile.

And somehow, in that storm, a piece of my heart got claimed by cats.

Yes — I may not be a cat person…

But maybe, just maybe, they chose me anyway. br /> style="clear: both; text-align: center;">

I am not sure if I will return them outside the building after the storm since they do not have caretakers, but to tell you frankly.  I am beginning to love them!

Friday, February 28, 2020

Vacancies at DepEd-CO (Batch 66)

There are vacancies at DepEd CO now.  If you are interested, the deadline is on March 6, 2020. Join now!



Friday, January 3, 2020

Batch 64: New Vacancies at DepEd Central Office

DepEd Central Office welcomes competent and dedicated people of all backgrounds.  Join now -  work together and inspire others!